Chickens and the Art of Mindfulness

I believe very strongly that we come to live on earth with the intention of growing and evolving into the best possible person that we can be. Problems occur when we forget this mission and instead we throw all our energies into maintaining the status quo – protecting our wealth, our careers and our relationships and our egos. Or we stagnate, we get stuck, knowing that we have taken a wrong direction and not knowing how to get back on track. Fear begins to sap our energy and our enthusiasm for life. 

Once you begin to realise however, that your purpose in life is to expand as a person in any way that you see fit, life becomes a challenge, an adventure and you become the hero in your own story, You begin to notice the opportunities – the lessons – which life provides for you to help you grow. 

One such lesson came to me recently. I was introduced to the Buddhist idea of Mindfulness. In my workshops and my coaching practice I teach the importance of our thoughts in achieving our goals and the time had arrived to understand this lesson on a deeper level for myself. How did I know that I was ready for the lesson? Because firstly I came across an entire book on Mindfulness ‘The Miracle of Mindfulness‘ by Thich Nhat Hanh. Just in case I hadn’t got the message however another book that I was reading ‘Daring To Trust‘ by David Richo, devoted an entire section to Mindfulness. Finally to really hammer home the point that this concept was important to my development a friend was having a conversation with me and guess what – she brought up the subject of Mindfulness also. 

The Art of Mindfulness is (in a nutshell) the art of being fully present in the moment, of slowing life down and really noticing what is really happening around you. Not an easy thing to do with our hectic pace of modern life! What has this got to do with Chickens? Well having a grasp intellectually of what Mindfulness consists in, is one thing, but what about in real life? Well here my lesson was a little harsher. 

I was hanging out the washing – in a rush as I was going to meet a friend at the station. Two of my hens were enjoying themselves in the sunshine and Mabel my favourite hen rushed over to me as she always does to say hello. Rushing to put the washing out I barely noticed her by my feet. 

Coming back from the station a fox shot out of our driveway and my heart sank. Coming into the garden I was greeted by a pile of feathers. The fox had got two of my hens including Mabel. I knew there was always a risk that if you let hens roam freely that they will be taken by foxes but I know also that the pleasure they got from being able to explore the world far outways the risks. But what the Art of Mindfulness had failed to teach me until that moment was that being present in the moment means enjoying what you have now – not looking forward to what is to come so much that you miss out on the present and not looking back at the past so intently that you also miss what you have now. How many of us take our families, our friends and pets for granted? It took the death of my hen, Ashley, to help me realise that (the story does have a happier ending as Mabel appeared a little later minus her tail feathers but still in one piece!).

The Art of Mindfulness was one of the lessons put on my path to help me grow. Had I chosen to ignore the lesson I would have had the opportunity to learn it at another time. Clients often comment to me how they often choose the same types of people in a relationship (those who have a fear of commitment or who are unfaithful etc.) I tell them that spotting this common theme in their relationships is the first step to understanding the lesson their partner is trying to teach them. Once they have understood their issues surrounding the problem, they have learnt that lesson and are ready to move on and experience another area of growth. If they don’t grasp the lesson the universe will come up with more inventive ways and often more drastic ways of getting the lesson across so you cannot fail to see it!

So instead of putting your energies into survival in the modern world why not commit them to developing into the best person you can be. Go on – I dare you to face up to those lessons that the universe is sending for you and become the hero that you are destined to be.  

Looking for a Career you Love?

For details of my new 6 week workshop in York, click on the link below:

http://www.coachyoutospirit.com/events

 

Who Do You CHOOSE To Be? Part 2

What is the story you tell of your life so far? Many people do not consciously carry  around this story but they do it all the same! This story appears in all your conversations, in all your thoughts about the world and in all your actions. This story contains all the beliefs you have about yourself and it is the most important story ever written. Consider the following people:

Person A carries around a story which has been built up gradually throughout their life. It goes like this: ‘My parents didn’t have much money when we were growing up so I never had the opportunities to do things that I would have liked to do. It has been a struggle all of my life to survive and as soon as one crisis is over the universe just throws something else at me. Life is so unfair – if only I was richer, more talented, prettier…etc. life would be so much easier. I married a man who I thought would look after me but he has just left so I am on my own again, another failure!  I can’t be bothered to try anything new as I will only fail at it. Success is something which only happens to other people, not to me.’

Person B on the other hand tells a story which goes like this: ‘We had very little money whilst I was growing up but it taught me to live within my means and to know that happiness is not dependent upon money. As I grew up I had loads of opportunities to discover the sort of person I wanted to become or didn’t want to become! I made mistakes of course but some of the biggest challenges I faced (for instance when my husband walked out on me) were in hindsight the biggest opportunities for discovering who I really am. The challenges that I have overcome in the past have made me self-reliant and I feel like a conquering hero every time I achieve one of my goals. I am the only person responsible for creating happiness in my life as only I know what makes me happy.’

Of course Person A and Person B could be the same person. The only difference between the two people are the thoughts they are choosing to have about themselves.

So the question is ‘What story are you choosing to tell about yourself?’ Are you choosing to be a victim, blaming others for your misfortunes or expecting them to take care of you, or are you a hero who despite setbacks and wrong turns, has the courage and willpower to pick yourself up and dust yourself down as you continue along? The choice is down to you. So Happy Choosing and whichever way your story reads I wish you luck and good fortune along the way!

Who Do You CHOOSE To Be? Part 1

I have a friend who used to regularly come to see me. Every time we met he would start to tell me all of the problems he had, how his life was not going well etc. At first I thought that he was going through a  tough patch (as we all do from time to time), so I would sit down with him and try to help him  find solutions to his problems. This was not what  he wanted however. He didn’t want to find solutions, he wanted to be the star in his own misery show. I was supposed to sit and commiserate with him about his hard luck not help him to create a better life! This I refused to do once I realised what was going on.

Why? Because my friend was choosing to be a person who was a victim in life. He said he hated having these problems that were stopping him from living the life he wanted but when faced with the opportunity to solve them he didn’t want to know.

To solve the problems that you perceive yourself to have, you have to start by choosing to be a person who can rise to the challenge. It is the person who begins to see themselves as responsible for where they find themselves in life right now who can start to understand that they have the power to change their situation also. It is when you choose wisely your thoughts about who you are that mountains are climbed, the universe conspires to help you move forward to your best possible self and miracles occur!

 

 

NEW WORKSHOP DETAILS

See my website www.coachyoutospirit.com for details of a practical course on Creating Your Ideal Life

https://sites.google.com/site/coachyoutospirit/events

WORK HAPPIER, NOT HARDER

It has been quite a while since I have posted an article here on my blog. The reason? I tend to look inwards over the winter months thinking about who I have been over the past year and who I wish to become over the coming year. I question what I have done and the things I wish to do next. Coming from sunnier countries, I used to hate the way that winter in England made me feel – often I lacked energy and felt tired when dark fell. Then I realised that winter gave me the greatest opportunities for growth. Now I copy nature and to the outside world when it looks like nothing is happening – no leaves are visible, no flowers are blooming, underneath the soil the hard work is happening and all of a sudden in Spring, plants and trees burst into life with a renewed determinism to give their best show yet!

As a culture we are not encouraged to take time out, especially in business. We are urged to work longer and longer hours in the pursuit of our careers and a growing income. The result is that we stop growing and start existing, running around on the hamster wheel of life, endlessly chasing more – of what? Do we need to validate our existence to others or earn respect from ourselves? Do we really need that amount of money to live a valuable life or to maintain our current lifestyle? If you take time to  listen to your body it will give you the answer. If you are working too hard or in the wrong profession the warning signals often come in the form of stress, depression or illness.

So I am putting forward the idea that we follow natures’ example and we work happier not harder. Meanwhile the rest of us can watch the glorious displays as the people that we care about blossom into the best human being they can be!

Reasons To Be Grateful For A Recession

1. CHANGE

It is easy to plod along (or even race along at top speed!) in relatively uneventful times perhaps congratulating ourselves on having a great lifestyle and living in stress-free circumstances. But the purpose of our lives isn’ t to strive to get to this point. The purpose of our lives is to grow into the best possible person that we can be. At no times does this happen faster than in times of change. And that brings us on to:

2. CHALLENGE

The recession brings us challenges to overcome. Difficult circumstances allow us to widen our perspective of the world (for instance we may gain empathy with those who have very little money, when we suddenly lose our job). We begin to question the values our lives are built on and the image we have of ourselves when faced with challenging circumstances. It is when things go wrong that we realise who and what is important to us. Things are not all bad however for times of recession also bring:

3. OPPORTUNITIES

Opportunities to:

• Try a new career
• Try a new hobby
• Work in the community
• Start paying off debts
• Spend more time with the family
• Plan how to spend money on things which really matter

4. DOWNSIZE

 Within a recession, opportunities arise to take a good look at our lives and our businesses and see how we can improve and adapt them in order to move forward in a new direction. Looking at our budget means we can identify where money is wasted and we can let go of material possessions that we don’t really need. I once walked away from almost an entire household of possessions and  with the exception of the odd twinge of regret I felt more liberated than at any other time in my life to be free from all that clutter!

5. RECONNECT

There is nothing more important than the fact that we truly connect with ourselves and give ourselves authentically to the world. It is not always easy and sometimes we find that we have been travelling down a path that isn’t really one of our own making. With the rest of the world busy trying to make sense of all these changes for themselves, no one will notice if you decide to travel a different path……. go on …..I dare you!

Since we have been talking about changes, I thought I would let you know that I am stepping out of the Spiritual closet so to speak and I have  a new website: 

www.coachyoutospirit.com

I hope you will pay it a visit sometime but I will continue to post my blog articles on this site.